At some point at the end of 2015, I decided to write – far more seriously than I previously had in prior years – on a site called Wattpad. While on there, I wrote two stories that got a lot of viewership, gaining readers from all around the world, and another that won me an award. In about three or four years, I gained about thirty thousand followers and more than twenty-five million clicks on all my stories. But still, I would say I have a lot of self-doubt in my writing.
In all honesty, I wouldn’t say that I’m insecure in what I create. More so, looking into the last six or seven years, I struggled with pick a pen up. Putting words to how I felt seemed difficult for the first time in my life. It was the fear of failing, creating something that only I saw worthy of constructing, lacking confidence in the next sentence, and seeking light in other people to feed off of to fuel my creativity.
Writing has been something that I’ve loved for countless years, originally finding adoration for the art form when I was still in elementary and middle school. Storytelling attracted me at a young age, causing me to find comfort in fictional worlds and fake relationships. Once, I heard the saying: “Reading is like living a thousand lives,” I knew that I had found my favorite activity.
Around the age of seven, I learned I was allergic to most things that exist in the outside world. I got rashes from the most common plants, sneezed whenever the sun became visible, and got the worse allergies every spring. Because of that, and other aspects, I ended up staying indoors more often – and fell even more in love with reading books.
I’m dyslexic – and have struggled with spelling for as long as I can remember. For a much longer time, I was fearful of popcorn reading. To help my stuttering and stumbling on words, I read ahead and practice the words under my breath just to prepare myself for the moment that was about to transpire.
Off topic, but the point of this post is simply this. I want to push past my anxieties.
I am going to publish a book this year. The goal is to release Tethered Hearts and Tempted Hearts.
I know this seems rather random, but there is a reason behind it. Previously, I had posted on my Wattpad account that I would release the ten year anniversary version of Disarming Dakota. For months, I worked tirelessly to get it ready for my readers. However, Wattpad/Webtoon had no interest in release it. In their version, the one that was distributed by Penguin Random House, had missing sentences, typos, and countless issues throughout the text. I didn’t like that something like this existed under my name.
In the end, I decided that it would be better if I moved forward with new plans. Some may be wonder, why not just release this version regardless? Sadly, as much as I would love to, I cannot. I am still under contract, and do not have the rights to Disarming Dakota.
For the last three months, I’ve been editing the Hidden Empire to the best of my ability. The hope is, in the next week or so, that I have the book ready for release. I will be self-publishing it. It is a risk, a risk I’m willing to take. I have a lot of confidence in this version of the book.
That’s all I have to say for now.
Hopefully I have more news soon.